Taking a Moment

I just got home from a fun-filled family afternoon (with the little girl, of course!) and decided to take a walk.

I laced up my favorite walking shoes, put my ear buds in and started walking. As I reached “my mountaintop” “Traffic in the Sky” by Jack Johnson started playing and the birds were chirping happily in the backgdound and everything just felt so right.

I’ve been really overwhelmed and stressed lately and this is exactly what I needed.

I just needed to take a moment and really appreciate the NOW.

Feeling so grateful.

September

I think September is becoming one of my favorite months. May and September. They’re the best. I’m really loving the cooler temperatures right now! This summer was too hot.

August was pretty crazy. I turned 22, we toured the new Vikings stadium and attended the first ever (preseason) home game in it, we went to the county and state fairs, and I became the mom.

Let me explain that last one: My parents and my brother and sister-in-law took me to a show for my birthday and we ended up asking one of my best friends to babysit J at our house for the night. Well, I’m the one who watches her the most and knows her routines here, so I was the one giving the directions and checking in and having a hard time saying goodbye. I told my friend before we left that I felt like I was the mom! (They both had a BLAST with each other and I secretly loved being on the other side of it!)

I do have one regret about my birthday, though: we bought a cake. That has never been done in my lifetime. When my friend came over she was complimenting my mom and telling her that she really has this cake thing figured out. When we told her we bought it, she was so surprised she almost spit it out! That’s kind of the one thing you could always count on in our family: a homemade birthday cake. My mom’s birthday is in a few weeks, so I’m going to make an extra special cake for “her.”

One more birthday note: Juliana has kind of figured out the “Happy Birthday” thing. It started with my dad’s birthday and her saying “Happy Papa.” Then it was her mom’s birthday (“Happy Mama”). But for mine, she didn’t say “Happy Carrie,” because she can’t say my name. So I have been renamed “Tia,” which I actually think is adorable because it means aunt in Spanish. So I got some “Happy Tia” songs!

Now, on to September:

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As I mentioned, it’s my mom’s birthday this month. She has a rather unfortunate birthday, 9/11, but she came first so I’ve always chosen to celebrate the day as opposed to mourning. Last year was the first time that I actually felt like I was mourning with the rest of the country, because she was out of town so we had already celebrated her birthday the day before.

It’s also my brother’s birthday. And then pretty much immediately after that, the little girl will be two.

Honestly, I struggle with the grandma/Juliana relationship a little bit. I’m jealous, because I never remember having a really loving relationship with my mom. I loved her because she was my mom and that was that. There’s never been a deep connection, like there is with my dad. So instead of being happy for them and participating in the relationship, it almost makes me sad.

And even though my mom doesn’t approve of how many pictures I take of them, I can’t stop. They will both cherish these pictures someday.

The one thing about their relationship that does make me smile, is that when I have kids someday, they won’t remember their grandma the same way I do. They will remember her as the most loving, caring, supportive, and fun grandma they’ve ever known. This isn’t to say that she’s a bad mom, she’s not. We just don’t have as deep a connection as other mothers and daughters. Or grandmothers and granddaughters.

I’m excited for the next month and all of the changes it will bring. But I’m really, really, really excited to leave this heat behind. I’m ready for my Chai Tea Latte!

Happy September!

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